The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize