Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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