Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
