Quick, to the slutcave!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
