he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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