Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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