It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
