if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
