Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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