"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
