He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
