He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
