Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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