you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
