New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
