I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
