The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
