he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
