Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
