ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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