New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
