Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i now understand why vodka
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
