I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
