There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
