dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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