I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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