does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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