Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
