Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
