I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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