Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We had to coat check the pizza.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
