If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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