Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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