o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
