just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
