I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
