I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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