you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
