I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
