Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
