You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He shit in the fireplace
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
