So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
