Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
