Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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