he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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