What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
