I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
