I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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