Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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