I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
