He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
