tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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