This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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