Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm both gender and math confused
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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