I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
cat food counts as protein by the way
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
