Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I accidentally had phone sex last night
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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