Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
