She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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